Ask for help!
Do you know you want support with something, but you don’t like asking for it? Do you feel that you are a burden to others? Needing to ask for help can make you feel inadequate. ‘I should know how to solve this myself’ may be some of the words cruising around in your head right now but here’s the thing…you aren’t meant to have all the answers and you certainly aren’t meant to do things on your own.
When you are a child, you are taught by your role models to be self-sufficient. It is communicated to you that if you cannot be self-sufficient then you will require help from someone else that you shouldn’t dare need as an adult. To be fair to parents yes you ‘shouldn’t’ need help to survive from other people but sometimes you simply do so asking for help is a skill you need to master. Some people are incredibly good at it, and they ask for things all the time and never feel guilty. Others would rather suffer in silence until they really hit rock bottom. Everybody is different but the way we feel about asking for help all comes down to the same thing: ego.
Ego is like a high school bully, it wants to never show its weakness, it wants to protect itself at all costs even if that means allowing you to suffer over and over again. When you don’t want to ask for help because you are worried you will be a burden you are actually avoiding being humble. It takes humility to recognise that you need help, being humble doesn’t show weakness it shows great strength. So many people feel like you do from time to time, they want to ask for help but they don’t, and things get worse and worse until the help they need is more significant than before. So, in fact avoiding humility makes asking for help even harder.
Contrary to what you may believe or feel in a moment of hardship, no one wants you to struggle. Humans are social creatures who want to be part of a community. Understanding this is powerful because it releases you from the strain of thinking you need to know everything about everything. When your business is struggling you can call on help, when you don’t know how to fix your car someone who excels in fixing cars can help you, when your sick you can get help from people nearby. Essentially the very reality that you are humans means you are constantly dished up moments that will teach you how to ask for help. People are ready and waiting to help you. They also want to serve other people. Think about it, how many people are so intent on helping others that they forget to help themselves? Often people experience love by serving others, so refusing to ask for help prevents them from experiencing love.
If you feel like you cannot ask for help still, ask yourself why you want to feel the struggle even when people offer to assist you? It mightn’t be as confronting as physical self-harm but you are still harming yourself by refusing to give yourself what you need. If you want to do that are you living an empowered life or a pitiful one? What’s more desirable to you? Act based on the life you want to live.
Remember others want to help you, let them show you love, let them look after you. You deserve it!