How regain calm & avoid spiralling out of control
Control feels amazing doesn’t it? Control gives you certainty about what is going to happen in your life, it makes you feel safe and secure. It’s no surprise that spiralling out of control feels rubbish, scary and completely overwhelming but are you stuck on the rat wheel because you keep putting out the emotions that got you stuck and overwhelmed in the first place?
When challenges happen in life you can switch your mind from positive mode to negative and suddenly become a super attractor for crappy experiences and negative people. The more you attract these the more your life becomes a series of conversations about frustrating people, situations and what is happening to you. The constant attention on the negative leads to overwhelm.
‘I have so much going on. How will I get through this?’
‘Why is this happening to me.’
‘I’d just like a break for once’.
It doesn’t take long until you believe that your life only has sad stories. The negative thinking leads you to digging a bigger hole for yourself making it harder to change how you feel. The key in making the change is listening to yourself, ‘I’d just like a break for once.’ You literally need to give yourself a break. Start with one positive thought and go from there.
Gratitude is the key to ensuring you do not spiral out of control. It keeps you in the present, reminds you of the good in your life and creates perspective. When people spiral out of control, they usually have stopped expressing gratitude. So to prevent spiralling out, you need a regular gratitude practice, perhaps that’s before bed, as you rise in the morning or when you are having lunch. You choose when it works but be warned once you start doing it once in the day you’ll probably end up with a long list of things you are grateful.
Gratitude brings you into the present moment. Being present is such a blessing because you aren’t looking forward or behind. Understanding how to be present is what coaching is all about. When you live in the moment and enjoy what is, actively listening, being appreciative in the moment, taking time to immerse all your senses where you are, stress, anxiety, overwhelm dissipates because right now you are all here. Sometimes when life throws you a lot of challenges being present within itself can be difficult, if you simply start with 5 minutes of being in the moment and not doing anything else other than enjoying where you are it will progressively come easier. The benefit of this is that you will actually take a rest as well.
Rest definitely helps you to avoid spiralling out of control. Rest gives you space from whatever is bothering you. The space calms your nervous system allowing you to have more energy to attack the challenges you are facing. Rest needs to be practiced. Meditation can help in this process. In fact if you feel overwhelmed, skipping a gratitude practice or getting frustrated a lot accessing guided meditation as part of your rest will go a long way.
In my coaching programs all of these strategies are personalised and encouraged to be used by clients on a regular basis. After all what’s the point just using strategies to get back from overwhelm, stress and anxiety when you can completely avoid it in the first place.
