What is the inner child?
As a personal development junkie you’ve heard of the inner child by now. How can you uncover how she feels and how to have a great relationship with her?
The concept of your inner child refers to the little girl (or boy) inside of you that represents your childhood, what you learnt about being a great human, the beliefs and behaviours you have learnt, the way you process and express your emotions and how you learnt to turn up in the world. Everyone has an inner child. It is the playful, bold, unabashed version of ourselves that we find the more confidence we build. As adults we can become disconnected with who we are at our core, developing a relationship with your inner child, understanding how she felt, was seen and empowered helps you to understand the fundmentals of what makes you, you today.
Many people think that those who have experienced trauma probably have a sad, lonely, self conscious, shy little girl inside however trauma doesn’t determine how your inner child feels. For many talking like this is confronting ‘how she feels? She, me, is an adult, why does she play a role’. The reality is, the inner child allows you to see what you need.
You can find yourself feeling frustrated and bogged down as an adult and not always sure about what to do or what you need, just that something has to change. The inner child KNOWS if you choose to listen. When I tapped into my inner child I discovered she was bold, goofy, very playful, imaginative but struggled to communicate her emotions. Unsurprisingly as an adult I used to (and can still revert to this if needed) be very capable of never letting on what truly was going on with me, even if I was completely terrified. I become a high performing actor in my own life and the frustrated little girl who desperately wants to be happier in private. I think this is something everyone on the planet can relate to. The question is…do you want a relationship with your inner child?
When you develop a relationship with your inner child you can heal your past. In coaching this is helpful to allow you to reconnect with who you are. It isn’t always done by coaches but at Magnetic Confidence we believe that not developing a relationship with your inner child means a whole part of your life is forgotten and doesn’t allow you to build self compassion. No one becomes who they are magically, we arrive at where we are by how we process the past and how we engage with the present. To develop a relationship with the inner child you need to let her speak. This can be done through writing, drawing, speaking to yourself or others. Personally I love a technique that engages your present self and your inner child, it works well with clients and with me too. Like a relationship with others, the relationship you have with your inner child needs to be nurtured. You’ll feel her pop up when adversity occurs, this gives you the opportunity to heal a little more and build on the self compassion that you have. Doing this everyday with yourself is how you’ll keep building confidence irrespective of what is going on in your life. This is why I encourage people to get to know the little child inside, they are a wealth of knowledge you need.
