10 Healthy Boundaries you need
Boundaries help you feel happy, safe, healthy and confident. They are the requirements you set out for yourself and others, a checklist of health, happiness and success if you will. For most people the boundaries they have are a direct copycat of their parents. This is effective when your life values are the same as your parents but for most they are not. As modern society evolves our boundaries must evolve too. Without defined boundaries that evolve with society and your identity over time you may find yourself feeling stuck in a rut. To help you define boundaries for yourself, here are 10 Healthy Boundaries you can communicate to yourself and others to protect your health, happiness and confidence.
Boundary with technology: Everyone uses technology differently however all of us use our technology in excess, especially on those pesky handheld devices we have. Whether you are scrolling social media or watching copious amounts of Youtube both impact your ability to be present, to spend your time wisely, protect your eyesight, give time to your relationships and the maximum effort to your work. Create a boundary that limits your screen time, set designated times for checking social media or email and keep tech out of the bedroom.
Boundary with work: Most high performers will constantly re-establish this boundary with themselves. With the change in technology workplaces are wanting to steal more time from our personal life- some bosses email on weekends and expect responses, some business owners answer queries at 10pm and will put their whole life on hold for a client. It is so important to define when work starts and finishes for you and stick to it! Establish clear working hours and make time for leisure activities, self-care, and family. If you keep working because you haven’t got leisure activities you regularly participate in, then it is time to change the space.
Boundary with people: Who you spend time with really matters. It impacts every aspect of your life, so who you spend the most time with is essential. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people and limit contact with those who are toxic, drain your energy or refuse to accept your boundaries.
Boundary with time: Learn to say no to commitments that interfere with your wellbeing and prioritise self-care. Also create strong boundaries for yourself around wasting time, creating ‘nothing’ time where you can decompress and keep yourself accountable. You may need to come up with your own solutions of how to ensure you stick to these boundaries. You may give yourself a healthy consequence for not completing things, like going for a 5km run or missing out on take out for the week- think of something that you won’t want to miss so that you stick to it and then motivate yourself by reminding yourself with messages on your phone, in your office and throughout your house about how sticking to this boundary and respecting time makes you feel.
Boundary with emotions: Decide when you are having a down day how long you really want to sink deep into your emotions. You may decide that you want 1 day of serious Netflix and Chill, boohoo crying and no positivity on the proviso that the day after you decide it’s time to let the positivity creep in. A boundary like this will ensure you don’t get stuck in your feeling brain, waste time and begin to self loathe because you haven’t made progress you desired. If you need more than 1 day then go for it- the idea is to not normalise every day of the week as being devoid of positivity or gratitude so you can reduce the feelings of isolation, loneliness and depression. Another awesome boundary in this space is one where you don't let others' emotions control you. For example, if you feel like someone is emotionally manipulating you, you step away or you communicate that you don’t want to be manipulated. Most of all create a boundary with your emotions that says ‘it is ok to feel any emotion but this… (insert your choice) is how I will healthily deal with my emotions.’ This way you cannot feel guilty for letting yourself down when your emotions are heightened.
Boundary with physical space: Respect your personal space and boundaries, and be mindful of others' boundaries as well. It is completely underestimated how much your physical space impacts your mindset. Clutter of a room tends to lead to clutter of the mind and disorganisation is much the same. When it comes to the physical space around your body decide how close is to close- some people have no concept of why putting their face in yours just for a chat is not comfortable- you need to educate them.
Boundary with finances: Create a budget that fits your lifestyle, that gives you some freedom so you don’t feel restricted but also helps you experience the success you feel from investing in property, shares, businesses and more. Determine how you will avoid overcommitting to financial obligations and decide how you are going to remind yourself of this regularly so you can keep experiencing success.
Boundary with information: Be mindful of the information you consume and make sure it is accurate and promotes positive thinking. Decide if watching the news is a great idea for you. Consider whether having friends who all agree on the same information is healthy for your growth or not. Decide how you will eliminate information that overloads you, impacts any other boundary or makes you feel disrespected.
Boundary with expectations: Manage your own expectations and don't let others dictate your life or decisions. If you expect yourself to be able to look after your mindset first so you can serve others best then you need to communicate this to others.
Boundary with self: Practice self-compassion, self-care, and self-forgiveness. Create a regular practice to engrain the boundary in your mind- how often will you spend time reflecting on what you need to forgive yourself for, how will you respond when you are self critical and how quickly and how often you will commit to self-care practices that leave you feeling your best.
By setting and maintaining any of these 10 healthy boundaries, you can protect your well-being, improve your relationships, and live a happier, healthier, more confident life.