I self-reject- why?

Every person on the planet is afraid of rejection, eager to avoid it at all costs yet some people still choose to self-reject. Why is that and how can you fix this?

Self-rejection is a really easy thing to achieve if you do not accept yourself. It begins by not acknowledging your successes, the positive choices you make and the growth that you have personally and professionally. It then moves on to denying what you know you deserve and settling for less. From here it leads to the frustration that others are increasingly rejecting you but the problem didn’t start with anyone but yourself.

The reason for self-rejection is pretty simple- you feel like you are unlovable because you’ve made mistakes, you struggle significantly to forgive yourself and you don’t expect others to forgive you either. At your core you want love and acceptance, but your fear is that who you are isn’t enough, so you avoid any more perceived pain by creating your own pain constantly and not accepting yourself.

At this point in time, you have actually believed that rejecting yourself is helpful to processing life but actually in makes you increasingly & silently sad. You may get to the point of thinking that someone else can help you love and accept yourself and in part they can, they can give you an emotional boost but they cannot help you love yourself.

So, you see self- rejection is a call to forgive yourself, recognise that others have imperfections like you and are still incredibly lovable, just like you. Begin accepting yourself by taking next steps- asking for help from a coach, psychologist, a friend who is the best version of themselves, practicing self-compassion and spending time with yourself. If you find being on your own daunting and you don’t go to the movies, have dinner, attend events solo I encourage you to stop self-rejecting and start learning the beauty of your own company.