Understanding projection

If you’ve ever found yourself in an argument where you feel like ‘this came out of nowhere’ or the advice been given to you was way off the mark for who you are and where you are at then you probably have experienced projection.

Projection is when we feel comfortable to identify an issue with someone else all the while not recognising, we have identified an issue within ourselves as well.

‘You’re always late, you never consider my time’ says a friend who has turned up on time once to your 99 times and 1 late arrival.

‘You have got so many problems to fix, it’s high time you start working on yourself!’ Says the person who hasn’t seen a psychologist or coach, is often angry and lashes out at others.

‘I am never rude’ says someone who has no idea about their humanity nor wants to accept it.

Projection can be incredibly frustrating. It often comes out as an angry, frustrated, disrespectful blurt that lacks tact. As a result you often want to respond in a way that is less than becoming, because you simply don’t like what someone said. But you need to always remember in every situation,

‘Is this person projecting something about themselves or are they truly qualified to comment on what is going on with me?’

So often as humans we want to take the blame and process it later but it steals our joy. Not every comment from others is deserving of our time, in fact much of it needs to ‘roll off you like water off a duck’s back’. Pre-coaching days people would often say to me ‘Jules why don’t you just let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back’ and I used to say, well because it’s not true and its frustrating. Projection is frustrating, but I had no idea that it existed when people were telling me to leave it alone and not take on other peoples’ energy. In fact, I found that the advice was rather unhelpful because I wasn’t identifying why I was upset and the respect I felt I deserved. Until I understood what projection was, I couldn’t just let things go. When I realised that comments from others often had to do with them and not me, I could then let it go.

You may find the same thing. People aren’t always going to project but if you can recognise when they do you will eliminate a lot of frustration and angry energy from others that has nothing to do with you. After all, isn’t peace the best thing you can have in life? Take it.

‘Your projecting!’