10 Ways to Self Soothe
Self soothing is for adults as much as it is for babies. When you are angry, frustrated, sad, disappointed and disheartened you need a bag of strategies to help you regain calmness. The more often you can use these strategies as soon as you feel highly emotional the greater you can return to happiness. The 10 strategies below are solutions you can use daily.
Deep breathing or meditation. This will allow you to feel your breath, body and soul and just take a moment to recognise ‘this is how I feel and this is ok’.
Exercise or physical activity. There is a reason why exercise is constantly listed as a strategy to improve health- the releasing of hormones, chemicals have a significant impact on your resting state. If you are feeling anxious you may want to do a yoga or pilates class, angry perhaps you want to box, confused- you can go for a run and gain some seriously great mental clarity. Tailor make your exercise to your needs.
Read a book or listening to music. Music has the amazing power to change your mental state in an instant. Choose hits the elevate your mood or relax you. Read a fiction book and escape the real world in a story of fun, adventure, mystery or love.
Spend time in nature. When you are inside your head the worst thing you can do is stay inside a physical building as well, get out.
Engage in a hobby or craft. This isn’t to ‘take your mind off things’ because often you need to deal with what’s on your mind to self soothe but it does allow you to engage a different part of your brain to become soothed and you’ll probably find it gives you perspective too all without you having to try.
Take a warm bath or shower. You gain clarity in the shower. You reduce stress and increase the release of oxytocin which calms the nervous system.
Write in a journal and get all the emotions out, the thinking, the what the moments and leave no stone unturned. Make sure your journal is private to you and those around you understand your boundaries so you can write freely without any self judgement.
Spending time with loved ones or pets. Ask for a hug! Cry on someone’s shoulder or cuddle your adorable pet. They will help soothe you even if they cannot speak. In fact, dogs have an uncanny ability to know the emotional needs of their owners and provide them with exactly what they need when they need it. Embrace this, it is a beautiful benefit of being a dog owner.
Practicing self-care, such as getting a massage, a facial, giving yourself space away from other people, communicating your boundaries. When you are feeling triggered or emotional giving yourself what you need is paramount. You probably already know what you need after confrontation, grief or a frustrating day- tap into that and be fully present so that you can get some mental space away from the tension that’s just been put into your muscles.
Getting adequate sleep and eating nutritious food. When you get upset it is common to go for high fat, sugary foods because they make you feel good temporarily but if you can reach for something delicious that you love like sushi, a smoothie or your favourite vegie laden meal it will make you feel better while also making you proud that you didn’t reach for the chocolate block. Similarly, whether you decide to take a nap or go to bed early, sleep can make you feel amazing. Focus on how your body feels in the bed, do some deep, slow breathing and let yourself rest. Sometimes adults really are like babies and sleep and a great feed cures all.
If you know of other things that work for you as well, do them! The more you practice self soothing the easier you’ll find emotional regulation. Get in the habit of reaching for something to self soothe before you give your energy away to things, people or scenarios that aren’t worthy of it.
