How to commit to a relationship if you are afraid of getting hurt
In modern dating you may hear people say that they don’t want to experience drama, they want something casual because they are done being hurt. Reality is, everyone on the planet has been hurt before. When you are single and not in a relationship you get hurt as well, by shutting people out and not allowing them to love you. But what happens if you want a relationship, but you are scared of getting hurt yet you don’t want to pass a seriously great person by? Here are 6 tips to drop the fear and open yourself up to the greatest joy: love.
1. Communicate openly and honestly. It's important to be honest about your feelings and fears with your partner. Let them know that you're scared of getting hurt, and that you need them to be sensitive and understanding with you. Sharing this information with the right person won’t change how they feel about you. In fact, anyone who knows that you are afraid but are putting in the effort to be less fearful will find your effort attractive. Just remember that the person you want to pursue healthy relationship with is not responsible of curing you of your fear.
2. Set boundaries. Make sure you and your partner understand what you both expect from the relationship. Talk about what kind of commitment you're both willing to make and what your boundaries are. Stay true to yourself by sticking to your boundaries. The more you can trust that someone else will respect them and the more you can trust yourself the sooner fear will drop away.
3. Take it slow. Don't rush into anything too quickly. Give yourself time to get to know your partner and build trust. Society often encourages quick moving relationships, but this doesn’t give space for you to feel confident in the trust you are building, take your time.
4. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if this is the right relationship for me? Am I ready to commit? Some people will give you poor advice that’s meant to help you move on, it doesn’t. If you find you are still angry at your ex, you still think about them all the time, you want someone to fill the void and you don’t really care who that it is then you aren’t ready yet. Take time to figure it out too and recognise that you can date and do that at the same time as long as you are prepared to go slow in a new relationship.
5. Be patient. Relationships take time to develop. You will need to be patient as you take time to get to know each other. Don’t let life timelines or your own expectations of what you wish to have in your life allow you to drop your patience and commit too soon- this will make it harder to move on.
6. Seek help. If you're struggling to commit, consider seeking help. This is especially important if you’ve experienced trauma of any kind or you find yourself dating the same kind of people over and over again.
