How to live in the moment
We all have busy lives and the reality is that's not going to change so it's about accepting the fact that life will continue to be busy and we will continue saying, ‘wow time is flying, we are almost at December already’ until we learn to really live in the moment.
When you live in the moment your zest for life returns because you are being present. You are here right now, your acknowledge your five senses in the current space and time and you absorb the situation, the person, the place and yourself for exactly what it is. The moment as it is right now will never come back to this exact point in time with exactly the same conditions because even you will be experiencing life differently based on your personal growth, life experiences and what is happening in the world. When life is a challenge people are ready to fast forward past the day but this fact is often forgotten, whether we like it or not there are great things about what is in our life right now when we choose to acknowledge them. What you need today is different to what you need in a week, month or year’s time. Soak up everything you can enjoy and learn from.
It should be said however that living in the moment is not about forgetting that you know there is a life beyond today and therefore lacking accountability; it's about celebrating and enjoying what we have right now and who we are right now. When you talk to older people they will always say I loved when I was 21, I had such a great time and no cares in the world and they'll tell you it's whole story about how everything was fantastic but there's no actually no difference between the life you can live at 21 and 60 when you choose your attitude. You can live with the same amount of energy and zest for life simply with different life experiences that underpin how you respond to the day to day. You can choose to be childlike and playful in your demeanour any day of your life, being an adult doesn’t mean you have to be Mr or Mrs Serious all the time.
I think that's the most beautiful part about presence; it gives us playfulness. Playfulness is something that adults often don't have because we get caught up in our responsibility. We get caught up in the stresses of everyday life and then suddenly we feel like we need this big long holiday to let go and have fun. We don't need that. We need to enter playfulness into our daily lives by making sure that we are focusing on what's in front of us right now and enjoying what we have now. One of the ways you can do that is by cultivating gratitude. Gratitude is scientifically proven to improve happiness by 85% but the reason why gratitude gives us presence and playfulness is that it gets us to think about what brings us joy. It gives you a celebration of the present moment. When you write them down it reminds you of how beneficial a day was when we would normally think it's just another day.
Another way you can be more present is by disconnecting. This is probably no surprise to anyone reading. Technology is an incredible resource, there's no doubt about that, but technology pushes us towards a life of multitasking and a lack of presence because we are equipped with a tool in our hands that is a phone, a computer, a games console, a life organiser and a dating coach all in one. We can do multiple things while we're also having a conversation yet none of them are done to a high quality or bring us the results we want at the end of the day.
This really annoys high performers because we want things done to high quality, yet the multitasking nature takes us away from these results and from the ability to be present.
Greater absence from your mobile phone will create greater presence. You can choose whether or not you have your mobile phone at the dinner table, you can choose whether or not you need your mobile phone on a walk, you can choose whether or not you need a mobile phone when you go grocery shopping or a sports game, you are in control. When you think intentionally about it you’ll probably discover that there are actually very few places where you actually need your mobile phone. In fact the vast majority of people understand the freedom and peace that being mobile-free provides yet it's still not quite internalised how beneficial this increased presence helps our health, especially our mental health.
You can also live more in the moment by being an active listener. Active listening is very different to listening; active listening is not fidgeting or hoping to pass on our judgments or thoughts, it's waiting until the other person is completely finished talking before we respond. When we are actively listening we have to be present for that other person because otherwise we don't know how we can meet them where they need to be met whether that's simply that they just want to be listened to whether they want a solution to a problem.
We cannot do our loved ones, peers and colleagues justice when we do not actively listen, this is why it’s really important that we recognise the significance of this skill and show it to others. Active listening is also incredibly empowering because that presence helps us learn to be better communicators better in relationships and add to the happiness of others.
It's also one of the biggest ways for people to quickly improve their confidence in social settings. A significant number of people often say they don’t feel confident talking to others in social settings because they often don’t know what to say but this anxiety is only present because we become focussed on what we need to say instead of being present, active listening removes all of that anxiety for us. Practice by that action alone and you'll see your interactions change, your confidence will skyrocket and soon social settings won't feel as nerve wracking.
The final way you can live in the moment is to manage your mindset. It's paramount that you understand that being present isn't just about I'm here right now and knowing what your senses are doing in space and time but its also about being present in your work, intentionally focussing on what you are doing and giving it all your attention. It is so simple to think about what is happening next, what someone said to you yesterday or what holiday you’d like to plan but it takes away your productivity now.
Our mind literally has to be focused on the moment the right here right now it cannot be allowing itself to jump forward into the future or delve into the past it has to be where it is. There is a real beauty in that as well because when we aren’t going backwards or trying to forge forwards we aren't trying to punish people for things in the past and we aren't trying to fast track things for the way we want to see them in the future because the reality is we don't know what future should look like for ourselves we don't know the best life for ourselves yet. This might sound really bizarre but the reality is we're taking and making all these different choices that we feel are authentic to ourselves because we've learned these things based on what has happened in our life so far but we cannot predict what is to come so we are wasting our energy on doing this. Our life shifts away from the path we thought we would lead often, and you typically end up where you are meant to be so there’s no point forcing a direction in your mind’s eye before the time has even come, you’ll lose time with others and miss out on experiences doing this. When we find this type of presence difficult learning mindfulness and meditation to quiet the mind is helpful. It helps us look on at an experience without judgement, to release tension, to feel how we need to feel to experience greater joy and it doesn’t force us to speed up the process because it is about simplying ‘being’ where we are at.
Living in the moment really allows you to enjoy what you have. To do that well you really need to have your mind and body present, right here right now, you can take some simple actions as have been discussed to help you tap into how you live in the moment more often. You'll feel so much better for appreciating the now than by staying stuck in your past or trying to fast track the future.